Today's Turnabout
by Intoxicated Gnu
Summary: Phoenix's latest client, a suspected cat napper, has something of his, his journal, and he has the get the wanted result, otherwise the name of his long-time crush will be revealed! Oh woe is he! Will be be able to keep his secret a secret?


"Alright! Let's do this, Nick! We'll clear his name for sure!" Maya skipped down the hallway, humming to herself the theme song of that show their current client was on.

A man stood before Phoenix, with well groomed eyebrows, fashionable, slightly messy blond hair, and a pink feather boa wrapped around his thin, almost feminine neck. "Thankth for taking the cathe, thweetheart. You'll do fine." Once again, Maya had picked the client. No surprise there.

"Uh, yeah. You're welcome." Phoenix rubbed his sore shoulders and neck together, thinking about how nice it would be to get home, take a nice, hot bath, sinking slowly into the steaming hot water, with rose scented-

"You know what will happen if you don't..." He slipped a small piece of paper into Phoenix's hand, eyes shifting around suspiciously. "I'll thee you in court."

Phoenix swallowed hard, unfolding the piece of paper. His eyes widened at the half-page. At the top was written, "Today's Edgeworth" in the most careful handwriting that was possible for him, and below that was a badly sketched Edgeworth in a frilly sundress, visor, a tennis racket, and a cat cudding against his legs. Under that it said, "It's similar to the October 7, 1992 Today's Edgeworth, but with a cat."

You see, Phoenix had a crush on the smart, sexy, elegant Miles Edgeworth, his old friend and new rival. The prosecutor was almost all of what Phoenix thought about, in fact. And because of that, it was only natural he was the subject of most of Phoenix's journal entries. His current client somehow decided he needed stronger motivation, and had given him some. If he didn't get the right sentence, his journal would be revealed to the public. That was more than enough for him to think about the case, and not, well, Edgeworth. As much.

The first witness, Detective Gumshoe was on stand, with his supposed decisive evidence in hand.

"For convenience's sake, Detective, please tell the jury about the defendant."

"Yes, sir. The defendant's name is Yagami Lawl. Twenty-five years old, works as a saleman when he isn't on his hit TV show. On last Tuesday night, the pet store in the same mall was reported to be missing some of their cats. We have decisive evidence that the defendant was the one who took those cats!" He huffed out the last sentence, having gotten himself worked up.

"Is that all?" the Judge asked.

Gumshoe nodded. "I guess so."

Edgeworth waved his hand in the air. "Please continue with the testimony."

"'Kay, pal. It's a known fact with the guy's co-workers that the defendant-"

"Hold it!" Phoenix yelled out, his hands slamming down dramatically. "The defendant, you say. And who is this, 'defendant'?"

"Objection!" Edgeworth argued, saving his dramatic moves for later. "That is irrelevant to the matter at hand. We all know who the defendant is."

The Judge was deep in thought. "Hmmm... I disagree, I think we need to hear this 'defendant's name before hearing the testimony."

Gumshoe frowned. "Like I said, his name is Yagami Lawl."

"But is this the same Yagami Lawl that stand before the court today?" Phoenix eyebrows furrowed, imploring the court to think.

"...Yeah."

The Judge nodded. "Go on."

"It's well known with his co-workers that every day after work, he stays behind longer than everyone."

"Hold it! How long would his co-workers say he stays behind?"

"Uh... I don't know. Longer than everyone else."

Phoenix fisted his hands. "I see... The defense has no further objections."

"...Right. So anyway, on that day, a few of the coffee shop employees were around. They say they saw the defendant sneak into the pet store just before time of the crime."

"Hold it!" He shouted once again. "Why are _you_ telling us this? Shouldn't we be hearing this from the witnesses themselves?"

"They're here, but Mr. Edgeworth said we won't need them anyway. This evidence is all we need."

Phoenix muttered to himself, "Yeah yeah, I'll wipe that confident- I mean," he cleared his throat. "How can we believe this, when coffee shop employees are usually _teenagers_?" He pointed his finger out in front of him accusingly. "Can we really trust their word?"

"Objection!" Edgeworth smirked and wagged his pointer finger back in forth in the manner that a hypnotist would swing a watch. "Is that all you've got, Wright? That's very interesting, considering _you_ were once a teenager yourself!"

Gasps were heard around the courtroom, everyone muttering things about untrustworthy attorneys and the trouble with today's youth. Phoenix was sweating. _'Damn.'_

Everything quieted with the judge's gavel. "I'm afraid this makes the defense's point completely invalid. I would like to know more about this decisive evidence."

"Of course, Your Honor. Detective, please present to the court the decisive evidence, the surveillance video taken from the very room the crime took place in, showing the defendant taking those cats!"

"A surveillance video you say? That is indeed decisive evidence. I might as well just make a decision right now."

"Objection! At least show the video first!" Phoenix panted, hands sore from slamming them down too many times.

"Alright, Mr. Wright, if it will please, please show the video."

The video showed Yagami in his work uniform opening the cages and putting three cats into his backpack, then walking out.

Edgeworth smirked more. "I believe this will resolve any doubt left in anyone's mind."

"That certainly makes him guilty. Any objections?"

Phoenix had a serious look on his face, eyes glinting in the knowledge that he was about to _turnabout_ this case. "There is one, Your Honor. This isn't proof that this is my client, because my client happens to have _a twin brother_!"

More gasps sounded.

"It seems I have no choice than to declare the defendant-"

"Objection!" All eyes settled on the prosecutor, after that flashing thing. "We looked into this twin brother. He had an alibi at the time. He also lives in France."

"And what do you have to say, Mr. Wright?"

"What do I have to say, you ask? Why, how can you tell it is my client, when the camera angle is over head?"

"Objection!" Edgeworth looked as if he had been prepared for this. "I request you zoom in at twenty-three seconds in. It _clearly_ shows a name tag, with the defendant's name. If you zoom in at 50 seconds in, you get a shot of his face."

"Objection! I say the defendant and his twin brother switched places for a day, and therefore, my client was actually in France at the time!"

Edgeworth merely looked annoyed by this point. "You're proposing that in a matter of two hours, there was enough time for them to switch places?"

"Precisely."

"Then there's no choice other than to hold off until tomorrow."

"Objection!" Edgeworth mentally scolded himself for getting off track. "Wright's claim is completely impossible. The defendant's twin brother is not only in France, but he is currently _in French jail_."

Even the Judge had to gasp. "In _French jail_?"

"That is correct, Your Honor."

"Objection! What if there's a triplet!?"

"Objection! There isn't!"

The Judge shook his head. "Objection! Shut up!" Everyone was taken back by his outburst.

"Wow, Nick," Maya whispered, "You guys must have really ticked him off."

_'Thanks for the help.'_ He turned to see Yagami glaring at him with his sparkly amethyst eyes, except they were kind of red because he was mad and they changed colors when he felt things.

"The prosecution has obviously looked into this matter thoroughly. It is quite clear that-"

"Objection! The defendant is guilty!" Edgeworth interrupted haughtily, as if he'd just proven his case.

"That's what I was about to-"

Phoenix was red in the face. "Objection! I have to get a not guilty verdict because my client is blackmailing me with- oops."

He wanted to whimper under all the eyes staring at him, staring into his soul, and such. "My client... Is guilty! Take him away! And confiscate anything he might have on his person!"

"Objection!" Edgeworth objected one more time. "You can't have anything on you in prison!"

"Objection!" Phoenix yelled, a little less confidently. "Well, uh, he did..."

"Guilty," the Judge said flatly, hitting his gavel. "But before the defendant is taken away, what is this blackmail item?"

"Muwahahahahaa!" Yagami laughed evilly, holding a magnifying glass up to the court as he flipped through Phoenix's journal behind it. "Now the whole _world_ knows! Hahahahahaha!"

Phoenix held his pounding head in despair. _'He... He smarted me...'_

After court, Phoenix stood in the hallway, his gaze low, hands behind his back.

"Don't worry, Nick. He already paid us five percent of the bill, right?" It totaled five dollars. "I'm sure you'll have another high profile case in no time! I'll even pick a- oh, I have to... Uhm, go to the bathroom, yeah. Seeya!"

"Huh?" Phoenix stared dumbly after her. _'Why did she go off in such a hurry?'_

"Wright."

Phoenix turned around by reflex, suddenly feeling faint. "Edgeworth..."

"So all this time, you've had a crush on me, huh?" His face held no more expression than usual, making it hard to tell how he was taking this.

"Uh. Yeah."

"And you still do?"

"Mm... Yes," he murmured, head lowering even farther, somehow.

"That's very interesting," He now had a thoughtful look, one finger tapping the side of his face.

"W-why...?"

"Wright, I have a question for you. Have you ever been on a date with a woman, and you were playing a game, and you let her win?"

"...Yes, why?"

"Would you be willing to take that a step up?"

Phoenix blinked. "I guess so. Where are you going with-"

"I love you," Edgeworth stated, lifting him closer with two gentle fingers under his chin. He slowly pulled the other into a kiss, one which promised eternal love and happiness. But little did Phoenix know, he had his fingers crossed behind his back.

Gumshoe watched from around the corner, snickering quietly and planning out who he and Larry could set up next.

And somewhere else in the world, Yagami Lawl's twin brother celebrated how his (And Gumshoe/Larry's) magical/evil plan had worked.

If you don't get the Yagami joke, read it backwards... It's a bad joke.  
What the heck did I just write, anyway? Or Wright, hahaha.


End file.
